A co-teacher of mine works with younger kids who are a little lower in their English abilities. One activity she had for the class was for each student to start with a sentence on a piece of paper and pass it on to the next student. No, it's not a game of "eat poopy cat" or telephone pictionary, but close. The next student will write another sentence to help complete a story, the concept of this activity is for students to be able to take what is already written and present a logical flow of ideas and plot. Unfortunately, the desired results were not produced, it was more an activity where note-passing in the classroom became permissible, so most students just wrote smart comments to each other. Posted here are a few of them, more may follow... Surprising, a common theme that came up were sentences about love, girlfriends, "good job", and "gay". Each page should have about 14-16 lines. Submitted for your viewing pleasure (all grammar and spelling errors were kept intact):
1. I think our school is too small
2. Shool have a small playground
3. school have a big can teen
4. school have big classrooms
5. school have small people
6. may be I think
7. What are you doing now
8. I'm go to WC
9. If you go to WC, please quickly!
10. You are big or small
11. I'm small
12. My heart is big
13. I don't think so
14. dinner for Dad's birthday.
15. Habby birthday.
A discussion of the school size turns into a discussion on the bathroom and then size, and finally a horribly misspelled birthday greeting? Here's another "gem".
1. I want to go to Year 1.
2. I don't hungry.
3. Do you siesta
4. Do you love me
5. No, I don't think so
6. I want to play you
7. love you too
8. Have you time tonight?
9. Yes, I have, and I will give you nice day.
10. I'm waiting for you
11. When are you come?
12. about winter
13. May be summer.
14. I think about winter too c 大约在冬季
15. It's very cold!
16. We have different topic.
This one dances on the edge of being sketchy, which is hard to imagine since the students are all about middle school aged. Of course, I'm surprised by "siesta" as well.
1. Good job!
2. There was a boy, he name is Jimmy.
3. He killed a boy named Tony.
4. Then Jimmy die.
5. So Jimmy's wife was so sad.
6. I don't know.
7. Do you know.
8. Yes I know him!!!
9. I don't think so
10. Jimmy will die too.
11. Good job!
12. Kill, kill, kill, good job.
13. ...good job...
14. Yeah
15. I like this story.
16. Do you like it!
That's enough for today... stay tuned for more!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Friday, September 12, 2008
Stories from the classroom... part II
With the third week of classes finished, I've been allowing students the joy of recalling all the information they've learned in the classroom, in the form of examinations. As a result, this has armed me with more ammunition for my blog. My colleagues in the office think I'm crazy because I usually burst out with laughter while grading my tests. Some may consider grading an arduous task, but I usually find it mildly entertaining. Ah, the perks of working at an international school... The test question is in bold, my sarcastic response in italics.
Please list 8 characteristics of all living organisms:
1) Egg
2) Food
3) Mushroom
4) Leaves
What is this? Her shopping list?
Please give an example of an Arachnid:
Sneaker
I feel the student may have been trying to write "spider" or "snake"... or perhaps they really thought a pair of Nikes was an arthropod.
Describe a Crustacean:
The crab meat is inside, you have to crack it to get to it.
I may have used the crab as an example during class to give an example of the exoskeleton. In order to paint a more vivid picture for them, I may have mentioned how they had to crack a shell to eat crab. At least the illustration struck a chord.
List the 5 Phylum of the Animal Kingdom:
Mummy
Ramhibit
The best part was when I was describing to the student what a "mummy" was and how it was different than a "mammal". Not sure if the second answer was a cross between an amphibian and a rabbit or not. Two answers I couldn't put on this blog was a drawing of a lizard and of a jellyfish. Creative.
What is the function of Ribosomes?
So much
Agreed.
What is the different between an animal cell and a plant cell?
One is in animals and one is in plants.
Logical. Who said science was complicated?
What are the special features of striated muscle?
If you have a strong muscle, you will be powerful.
The best part is that for my illustration of the flexor and the extensor muscles, I showed off my own arm... Am I powerful? haha.
What is an isotonic solution?
Enough.
I'm serious, this was the answer to the last question on the test. It's kind of fitting it was the last thing the student wrote on the paper.
Since the grades on this test weren't stellar, I offered the students to correct their test and wrote an explanation, i.e. why the answer they wrote was wrong and why the right answer fits the question... Simple enough task, funny enough results.
"I forget it"
"I don't know this word means"
"I can't write these words"
"I don't know this knowledge"
"I can't study seriously and clearly"
At least they're honest... The funniest response so far though, is when I asked an individual if he had any siblings... The reply? "Siblings? I don't even have a wife!"
Stay tuned...
Please list 8 characteristics of all living organisms:
1) Egg
2) Food
3) Mushroom
4) Leaves
What is this? Her shopping list?
Please give an example of an Arachnid:
Sneaker
I feel the student may have been trying to write "spider" or "snake"... or perhaps they really thought a pair of Nikes was an arthropod.
Describe a Crustacean:
The crab meat is inside, you have to crack it to get to it.
I may have used the crab as an example during class to give an example of the exoskeleton. In order to paint a more vivid picture for them, I may have mentioned how they had to crack a shell to eat crab. At least the illustration struck a chord.
List the 5 Phylum of the Animal Kingdom:
Mummy
Ramhibit
The best part was when I was describing to the student what a "mummy" was and how it was different than a "mammal". Not sure if the second answer was a cross between an amphibian and a rabbit or not. Two answers I couldn't put on this blog was a drawing of a lizard and of a jellyfish. Creative.
What is the function of Ribosomes?
So much
Agreed.
What is the different between an animal cell and a plant cell?
One is in animals and one is in plants.
Logical. Who said science was complicated?
What are the special features of striated muscle?
If you have a strong muscle, you will be powerful.
The best part is that for my illustration of the flexor and the extensor muscles, I showed off my own arm... Am I powerful? haha.
What is an isotonic solution?
Enough.
I'm serious, this was the answer to the last question on the test. It's kind of fitting it was the last thing the student wrote on the paper.
Since the grades on this test weren't stellar, I offered the students to correct their test and wrote an explanation, i.e. why the answer they wrote was wrong and why the right answer fits the question... Simple enough task, funny enough results.
"I forget it"
"I don't know this word means"
"I can't write these words"
"I don't know this knowledge"
"I can't study seriously and clearly"
At least they're honest... The funniest response so far though, is when I asked an individual if he had any siblings... The reply? "Siblings? I don't even have a wife!"
Stay tuned...
Friday, September 5, 2008
Not your typical ride
Sometimes when I'm running late (which is almost everyday), I will take a cab to work instead of trying to trim the 30 minute commute down to 10. Today was one of those days.
After hailing a taxi with relative ease, I told the driver my destination and prepared myself for another frantic ride. For those not familiar with the taxi drivers in China, they are the most aggressive and fearless souls that patrol the streets. They have earned the nicknames "师傅", which literally translates to "master", and I would have to agree with that reputation, after witnessing their artful dodging and expert weaving around anything that moves - people, other cars, old grandmas.
So today, after getting in my taxi, I sit back and brace myself for another perilous journey as the driver straddles the line between getting to work on time and a fatal fiery car wreck, I'm surprised to see my driver turn on his turning signal, and turn his head around to check the traffic before merging. Both of these practices are rarities on their own, and having a driver that does both is like discovering plutonium in your backyard. "Hmm, cautious driver, that's good", I thought. As we continue the trip, I realize he does this whenever he changes lanes, and he also has a little buffer between him and the car in front. As we approached an "orange" light, one that was not even yellow much at all and mostly red, he came to a stop instead of charging through the red light and ending up blocking the intersection. While merging on and off the highway, he continues to check for other cars and because of the buffer space he has with the car in front of him, many other aggressive drivers take advantage and cut in front of him. I realize, after about 5-10 minutes of this abnormal driving behavior, I think "wow, my trip to school will be closer to 15 minutes today". Thoughts creep from that to worrying about getting to school late and it even started venturing to impatience, hoping that he would speed up a little bit. That's when I realized "wow, this is exactly the kind of driver I would be if I were driving here in China". Defensive, careful and hopefully law-abiding. It's strange that as I live here and grow accustomed to everyday life, I also get used to what I perceive as the norm here, and that slowly sinks in to my thoughts and attitudes. Definitely a challenge to adjust to the culture while not changing my attitudes but also continuing to do what's right. Now the crowds on the subway... that's another story...
After hailing a taxi with relative ease, I told the driver my destination and prepared myself for another frantic ride. For those not familiar with the taxi drivers in China, they are the most aggressive and fearless souls that patrol the streets. They have earned the nicknames "师傅", which literally translates to "master", and I would have to agree with that reputation, after witnessing their artful dodging and expert weaving around anything that moves - people, other cars, old grandmas.
So today, after getting in my taxi, I sit back and brace myself for another perilous journey as the driver straddles the line between getting to work on time and a fatal fiery car wreck, I'm surprised to see my driver turn on his turning signal, and turn his head around to check the traffic before merging. Both of these practices are rarities on their own, and having a driver that does both is like discovering plutonium in your backyard. "Hmm, cautious driver, that's good", I thought. As we continue the trip, I realize he does this whenever he changes lanes, and he also has a little buffer between him and the car in front. As we approached an "orange" light, one that was not even yellow much at all and mostly red, he came to a stop instead of charging through the red light and ending up blocking the intersection. While merging on and off the highway, he continues to check for other cars and because of the buffer space he has with the car in front of him, many other aggressive drivers take advantage and cut in front of him. I realize, after about 5-10 minutes of this abnormal driving behavior, I think "wow, my trip to school will be closer to 15 minutes today". Thoughts creep from that to worrying about getting to school late and it even started venturing to impatience, hoping that he would speed up a little bit. That's when I realized "wow, this is exactly the kind of driver I would be if I were driving here in China". Defensive, careful and hopefully law-abiding. It's strange that as I live here and grow accustomed to everyday life, I also get used to what I perceive as the norm here, and that slowly sinks in to my thoughts and attitudes. Definitely a challenge to adjust to the culture while not changing my attitudes but also continuing to do what's right. Now the crowds on the subway... that's another story...
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Definitions gone awry...
Teaching biology at an international school can produce some amazing results when it comes to defining words for homework. Often times, there is a constant typing of keys and electronic voices heard as students rush to look up words as quickly as they can in their electronic dictionaries during lecture.
We just finished a few lectures about Diffusion and Osmosis. For those non-scientist types out there, diffusion is the process by which molecules or ions travel from a gradient of high concentration to low concentration. It's a natural process that doesn't need energy. Osmosis is just a specific type of this process, dealing with water. Here are a few interesting responses on the homework I assigned:
Define Diffusion:
- "the process of diffusing or being diffused"
Define Osmosis:
- "the gradual or unconscious assimilation or adoption of ideas"
Give an example of Diffusion:
- "When the egg turn bad, you can smell it"
Classic.
In other news, our class is re-thinking the BBQ idea and possibly just getting sandwiches, chips, drinks, etc. So less work, and still pretty good. Laziness and logic win in the end.
We just finished a few lectures about Diffusion and Osmosis. For those non-scientist types out there, diffusion is the process by which molecules or ions travel from a gradient of high concentration to low concentration. It's a natural process that doesn't need energy. Osmosis is just a specific type of this process, dealing with water. Here are a few interesting responses on the homework I assigned:
Define Diffusion:
- "the process of diffusing or being diffused"
Define Osmosis:
- "the gradual or unconscious assimilation or adoption of ideas"
Give an example of Diffusion:
- "When the egg turn bad, you can smell it"
Classic.
In other news, our class is re-thinking the BBQ idea and possibly just getting sandwiches, chips, drinks, etc. So less work, and still pretty good. Laziness and logic win in the end.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Stories from the classroom... part I
I've recently started a new job teaching at an "International School" and it's been quite an adventure. The students here are mainly Chinese, some Taiwanese, some Korean, and a few outliers that are relatives of the faculty. The school prepares students for studying abroad. The school started a week ago, and as expected, hilarity has ensued.
At the beginning and the end of the day, we have a period of time with students in "form" class, similar to homeroom. I used to teach my form class science, but after some schedule changes, I won't be teaching them anymore, but I still have the pleasure of seeing them twice a day in form class. The class is full of middle-school aged characters, primarily mischievous little boys who have a knack for making you laugh while trying to discipline them, and sweet quiet girls who have their moments of absurdity as well.
As the school year begins, we have an activity called "Get to know you BBQ" next week. The idea behind it is a bunch of games, icebreakers, dancing, and allowing a bunch of 12-18 year old kids barbecuing raw meat and devouring either marginally cooked or over-burnt burgers. I'll be sure to eat before this little event.
This event not only accommodates the students in welcoming them back to school, it puts them in the driver seat and lets them plan out who is bringing what to the BBQ. Each form will be cooking on its own, so they will be responsible in raising funds to bring a grill, charcoal, raw meat and drinks. Interpretation: hyper kids running around after drinking too much soda pop and then laduzi-ing after eating undercooked meat.
Today during form class, the students were "debating" about how much money to raise, and how to allocate the funds to either "grill", "food", "charcoal" or "drinks". Our class leader, "Adam", a loud, bigger Chinese boy who speaks with the strangest accent (not quite Chinese, not quite British?), was trying to organize the class and decipher where our funds needed to go. Throughout the process, he added a monetary amount to each item, "the grill will be about 200 doll-lers", to which many of his classmates quickly corrected him that we were using "yuan". When deciding what kind of meat to purchase, everyone in the office seemed to have an opinion, some girls suggested lamb, some suggested burgers, some suggested steak... all of this commotion was in mixed Chinglish. As we were slowly reaching the decision for some meat from a cow, there was considerable debate on what kind of cut or meat we would like. The volume reached a high level, and as my co-form teacher and I were trying to calm the class down, our class leader exclaimed "what part of the COW do you want to eat?". As we discussed the merits of good meat, though not necessary steak, "Adam" proclaims "we only have 400 dollars to spend on meat, so we can't get steak!", to which "Roger", a lanky Chinese boy who listens to Eminem and rap, "Dollars? Shut your mouth!". Gradually, we were able to figure out how much to spend on drinks, but we still need to get a grill, charcoal and meat. The bell rang to soon and I'm not exactly sure how this little BBQ will play out.
The kids are so funny at the school, it's an interesting mix of personalities and family backgrounds. Teaching a biology class seems to only add more opportunity for miscommunication and I'm sure more antics will follow. I love that some kids are bold enough to speak their mind and be laughed at by others, while yet others are reaching that "too cool for school" phase of High school and learn that image is everything - an interesting fact since that social norm seems to hold on through high school and manifests in the work place and culture of this country. Nevertheless, keep posted for more stories...
At the beginning and the end of the day, we have a period of time with students in "form" class, similar to homeroom. I used to teach my form class science, but after some schedule changes, I won't be teaching them anymore, but I still have the pleasure of seeing them twice a day in form class. The class is full of middle-school aged characters, primarily mischievous little boys who have a knack for making you laugh while trying to discipline them, and sweet quiet girls who have their moments of absurdity as well.
As the school year begins, we have an activity called "Get to know you BBQ" next week. The idea behind it is a bunch of games, icebreakers, dancing, and allowing a bunch of 12-18 year old kids barbecuing raw meat and devouring either marginally cooked or over-burnt burgers. I'll be sure to eat before this little event.
This event not only accommodates the students in welcoming them back to school, it puts them in the driver seat and lets them plan out who is bringing what to the BBQ. Each form will be cooking on its own, so they will be responsible in raising funds to bring a grill, charcoal, raw meat and drinks. Interpretation: hyper kids running around after drinking too much soda pop and then laduzi-ing after eating undercooked meat.
Today during form class, the students were "debating" about how much money to raise, and how to allocate the funds to either "grill", "food", "charcoal" or "drinks". Our class leader, "Adam", a loud, bigger Chinese boy who speaks with the strangest accent (not quite Chinese, not quite British?), was trying to organize the class and decipher where our funds needed to go. Throughout the process, he added a monetary amount to each item, "the grill will be about 200 doll-lers", to which many of his classmates quickly corrected him that we were using "yuan". When deciding what kind of meat to purchase, everyone in the office seemed to have an opinion, some girls suggested lamb, some suggested burgers, some suggested steak... all of this commotion was in mixed Chinglish. As we were slowly reaching the decision for some meat from a cow, there was considerable debate on what kind of cut or meat we would like. The volume reached a high level, and as my co-form teacher and I were trying to calm the class down, our class leader exclaimed "what part of the COW do you want to eat?". As we discussed the merits of good meat, though not necessary steak, "Adam" proclaims "we only have 400 dollars to spend on meat, so we can't get steak!", to which "Roger", a lanky Chinese boy who listens to Eminem and rap, "Dollars? Shut your mouth!". Gradually, we were able to figure out how much to spend on drinks, but we still need to get a grill, charcoal and meat. The bell rang to soon and I'm not exactly sure how this little BBQ will play out.
The kids are so funny at the school, it's an interesting mix of personalities and family backgrounds. Teaching a biology class seems to only add more opportunity for miscommunication and I'm sure more antics will follow. I love that some kids are bold enough to speak their mind and be laughed at by others, while yet others are reaching that "too cool for school" phase of High school and learn that image is everything - an interesting fact since that social norm seems to hold on through high school and manifests in the work place and culture of this country. Nevertheless, keep posted for more stories...